dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
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