So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
