i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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