i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
