he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
this boner is exhausting
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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