After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
