dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
