I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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