apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
