I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
