Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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