my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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