Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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