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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
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Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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