dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
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he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
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Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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