I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
