wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Do vagina's smell?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
