I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You smell like stripper and shame
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
