Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
