And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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