One girl and one boy is just not enough.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
