i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
