Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My life is pants optional.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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