Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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