Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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