guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize