Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
