Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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