people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
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Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
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How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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