Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
