I can feel you judging me through the phone.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
