can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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