This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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