I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
send nudes
from the living room?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
