My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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