In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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