the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
