I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
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I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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