I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
