I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
