I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
