as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
