My brain says no but my pants say off.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
