I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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