Your tits are I can't wait for
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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