i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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