There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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