I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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