mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
