You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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