ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
