wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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