had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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