i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize