he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize