Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I cannot find my penis.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize