i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
