She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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